[Why are you so difficult, Juudai? 

Johan stands on the wooden deck in front of the door to Juudai's room, staring at the door miserably. Juudai is in there; Juudai has made it fairly clear, through inaction, that he does not want to emerge. He lets out a broken sigh.

"Please come out, Juudai. Please."

His friend makes no move, of course. So Johan stands there, frustrated and despairing, mouthing silent words of compassion and supplication.

Please come out, Juudai. Please talk to me, Juudai. Please just let me in.

He could scream until his throat was raw, We care about you, Juudai, I care about you, don't do this to us, to me -- but his friend probably wouldn't have any of it. He just can't seem to connect with him; no matter how far he reaches, Juudai is always just a little bit farther away.

"...please, please, please, please, please..."

He wonders if it would do any good to pound on the door repeatedly. Likely not; it would just get Juudai angry at him if he was too persistent. The very last thing he would ever want.

He keeps standing, one hand outstretched, desperation showing on his face, in his clouded gaze. His lips are moving; but nothing is coming out as he whispers to himself quietly. Then he falls silent, jagged failure tearing across his very visage, cracking his shoulders, making them fall.

"...You saved my life once, and I can't even try to return the favor, because every time it matters, you just close up like this, and it doesn't even matter what anyone says..." he murmurs to himself, unsure if Juudai can hear, but beginning to cast aside any notion of caring whether or not he can.

Johan -- knowing he was taking time he could have used for his own meditations to check up on the stubborn boy he holds so dear -- shakes his head and finally makes as if to turn away, giving up, muttering one last musing to himself. Resolving that it's better if he quits while he's ahead.

"...But I know you probably would've done the same for anyone else... so..."]